


You Liked Him Better

by maki_senpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Blood and Gore, Crimes & Criminals, Expect OOC-ness, Graphic Description, Killing, M/M, Murder, Not Beta Read, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Two major character deaths, Unrequited Love, Violence, i kinda just posted it and went, its based off of heather by conan gray, just in case, like please turn away if you cant stomach these, literally a lot of depictions of twisted things, please tell me if im missing tags, sorry - Freeform, turn away, unrealistic leave me alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26747245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maki_senpai/pseuds/maki_senpai
Summary: "For a day, I had Shinsuke kiss me. Love me. Hug me. I was even wearing the sweater he let me borrow all those years back."
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Osamu, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	You Liked Him Better

The room was cold and felt empty despite the three people that occupied it. It felt more like a box more than anything, with a single light hanging from the middle of the ceiling. The dimness of it made the person across Oikawa (though, now a Sugawara) Tooru and Sugawara Koushi look more ominous than they should be. Though, the crimes they did warrants the look they were giving. 

It was quiet with only the laboured breathing of the three men that filled the room.

Suga stared hard at the man in front of him before speaking, “So, tell us what happened. We’re both pretty perceptive and will see through your lies.”

The other man chuckled darkly, “Oh, I believe ya.”

“Speak up, Miya.” Tooru butted in, voice firm and steady. 

“I’m just a man in love. Isn’t that what drives people to do things? A motivation. Is that what yer looking for? My motive?”

“That was more of an obsession than love, do you realize that?” 

“What would _you_ know?” Miya scoffed, “Everyone loves differently don’t they? You two have _yours_ requited and complete. Do y’know what it’s like when it’s unrequited and yet ya can’t stop loving them because yer heart continues to long for them, so ya try and do whatever ya can to get them.”

“Enlighten us.” Suga leaned back in his seat. He figured that people like this tend to reveal more than they want to when they talk about their whole journey as to how they got here. 

Miya looked at the metal table that separated him from the two and began to talk. 

* * *

_ “Y’know, it’s too cold to be out here in just your club jacket. Take this too.” Kita-san handed me his sweater that was far too big on him.  _

_ “Won’t you be cold?” I asked, trying to keep a steady voice, hiding the fact that I was shivering.  _

_ “M’gonna be fine. I brought a scarf my grandma made.” He smiled so warmly up at me that I forgot I was cold for a moment. I took my jacket off before putting his sweater on, inhaling the scent that I’ve come to love. I wore my jacket over it for extra warmth, but I suddenly felt too hot, my cheeks burning a bright red. It was like my body reminded me that I am wearing my crush’s sweater.  _

_ “You should start wearin’ warmer clothes. It’s already December.” His voice was kind and caring like it always is when he speaks.  _

_ “I should, but then I wouldn’t be able to take yer sweaters.” I joked. He chuckled light-heartedly and my heart skipped a beat.  _

_ “Ya do look better in it than I do.”  _

_ “Maybe it’s because it’s my size, Kita-san.” _

_ “Well, I like bigger clothing anyway. Oh, hey!” I watched his eyes look behind and I turned to see my brother and Suna approaching us excitedly, though Suna kept his “I don’t care” look.  _

_ I turned back to Kita-san only to see him look at my brother with a different glint in his eyes. I’ve observed him long enough to notice the slight changes in him, even if he doesn’t explicitly show it. I notice the changes in expression, the different looks in his beautiful, gentle eyes, the change in his moods, everything; because when you love someone, you want to know  _ everything  _ about them.  _

_ How else would I know what he needs when he needs it? I need to know how he ticks so I can take care of him just as much as he takes care of me, if not more.  _

_ But for some reason, he couldn’t see my efforts to do so. My efforts to love him. _

_ Instead, I watched him fall for Atsumu.  _

_ For months, I watched their romance unfold in front of me. I could see Kita-san be mesmerized by my brother’s natural talents. I listened to Atsumu change the way he called him. From Kita-san to Shinsuke to the endearing nickname, Shin.  _

_ Kita-san seemed to love it. I would see the way his eyes lit up whenever my brother called him by that name. I could see how relieved and at ease he would become whenever Atsumu showed up. I still loved Kita-san then and fell even harder through the stories Atsumu would tell me before we slept.  _

_ Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for them and I understood why Atsumu was chosen over me. I always lived under his shadow anyway and Kita-san was just one of the people that liked the light more than the shadows it casted. I was used to it. Despite being identical twins, everyone, including myself, knew that he was the better looking one. He was brighter, more welcoming. He was kind and friendly, save for his large ego. He had more talent and was far more charismatic and kept it up until we all graduated and moved on with our lives.  _

_ And throughout all that, I stayed in love and watched brokenly as Atsumu and Kita continued their happy and healthy relationship. I would stay up late at night and wish that I were in Atsumu’s place. I wondered what it would’ve been like to be favoured, to be admired, to be loved by Kita-san. I wondered what it would’ve been like to  _ take _ his place. To swap and pretend to be him. Even if it was just for a day. It never used to bother me, but a suppressed voice surfaced and told me that I deserve what my brother had too; that I deserved Kita Shinsuke.  _

_ I deserved it, I did. I’m just as accomplished as he was, so why should I stay in the shadows? Why didn’t Shinsuke like me? Is it because I wasn’t even half as pretty as my stupid excuse of a brother? Is it because he looked better in his sweater than I did? He barely had any idea of how much I loved him. Did he just like Tsumu better than me just because?  _

_ Was that it?  _

_ What if I just became him?  _

_ We gotta work hard to make our dreams come true right?  _

* * *

Suga and Tooru stared at the man before him. The dyed blond hair, with honey-brown coloured eye contacts that hid the true person underneath. Listening to everything, it all clicked in place and it made the two sick. Both of them had siblings who they loved dearly and wouldn’t let anything happen to them. 

Tooru pulled out a manila folder and opened it revealing pictures of Atsumu’s rotting and mutilated body. 

Osamu chuckled darkly at them, unphased by what he was seeing. After all, he’s the one that did that and he was proud of it. 

“So what?” Suga started, “You’re caught and this was all for nothing. Do you realize that?” 

“On top of that,” Tooru spread the pictures, revealing more photos, this time of Kita, his body more well-kept and embalmed, “you killed the one you killed for. Why?”

“It was the only way. I wasn’t going to have him if he knew I killed Atsumu. He would’ve hated me! Isn’t that… Isn’t that so obvious?” Osamu looked at them as if he said a fact that everyone knew, “This was the only way for me to have him.” He scoffed.

Suga leaned over the table and spoke, “And you dressed up as your brother… for what reason? To bask in his glory and fame because your restaurant wasn’t enough for you? To be finally loved by everyone, right?” 

“See? I knew ya had some brain in ya. It was satisfying, y’know? Seeing the terrified face of Tsumu when he saw me dress exactly like he did. It was like lookin’ in a mirror! The best part was when I took my kitchen knife and plunged it into his heart. Seeing the life drain out of his eyes was quite fun to watch. Seeing something that used to be so bright, become so dim was so… fulfilling. Twisting it inside and watching his stupid face contort in pain was blissful. The pathetically happy look he had was finally erased. Y’know, I kept the knife in for a bit so that he could feel what else I had planned on doing. Like cut up his fuckin’ face, or cutting off his precious setter fingers one by one. His screams were the best part. He sounded just as pathetic as I always thought of him to be. I told him all the reasons why I’ve grown to resent him. The way he always kept outshining me and never giving me the chance to grow. He was a narcissist and I simply put him in his place. It wasn’t like Tsumu ever cared about me like I did him. I sacrificed so much for him while he did jack shit for me.

I made sure he knew that. Every cut, every draw of blood, every piece of him that I took off. It was great! Ya shoulda seen how his blood almost flooded my apartment. Or the blood splatter on the walls. I considered not cleaning it up for a moment because it looked so good and  _ I _ did it. I made sure he knew that he was an absolute shit of a brother. I stopped thinking that I only belonged under his shadow. I shine too. Just as the moon shines like the sun. I only wished to be him just to feel somethin’ and I made it come true even if it was just for a little bit.” 

Osamu’s voice was devoid of any regret or any sort of emotion for that matter and it made a chill run down Suga and Tooru’s spines. He looked between the two and rolled his eyes.

“For a day, I had Shinsuke kiss me. Love me. Hug me. I was even wearing the sweater he let me borrow all those years back. He thought I was Atsumu for a moment, but when he realized, he looked at me like I was a monster and it was something I didn’t wanna see again. The hate in his eyes was so evident and I didn’t like it one bit, so I did what I had to do. It was quick and easy to clean up. I needed to preserve him, of course. He looked so beautiful that night. He also still smelled like he did back in high school and it felt like home. Even after embalming him, he smelled like home. My only mistake here is letting that cloud my judgement and didn’t get rid of Atsumu properly.” 

Osamu stared at the photos, taking one of Atsumu and Kita’s in each hand, admiring his  _ work _ with no hint of regret in his eyes. He looked at the mess he made of Atsumu and the art he made of Kita as if he was looking at an old high school photo. He didn’t even hear a single word Tooru and Suga were saying to him. The only thing in his mind is that he’s finally freed despite the cuffs that were around his wrists. 

Memories filled his twisted head of that December morning. Him in Kita’s sweater that started it all. The same day he realized that the love of his life had his eyes set on someone he wished to be. The same day he had to suppress a cruel voice that nagged at him. The same day that he had to hide the fact that he wished Atsumu was dead every time Kita would look at him so lovingly. Suddenly he felt the same coldness he did then. The December air nipping at his exposed skin. He shivered at the thought and closed his eyes in nostalgia. 

But the next time Osamu opened his eyes, white walls surrounded him, his body clad in white, with a single twin bed in the corner that was barely comfortable enough to sleep in, a locked door with only a single opening for a tray of food to fit in. 

Despite that, he listened to the song coming from the staticky intercom, humming along to it with contentment. 

_ “...But you liked her better. _

_ Wish I were…” _

He smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> My [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SOUM4KI)
> 
> apologies for any mistakes skdjfhk  
> mayhaps ill come back to it and polish it up :3
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


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